"Compare, where you are to where you want to be, and you'll get nowhere."

I am very outspoken regarding my love for Sara Bareilles. For those who don't know... now you do. I love Sara Bareilles. That woman could sing me a history textbook and I would be quite happy (I actively avoided alphabet and phone book). Her youtube videos are lovely and adorable, her twitter feed is fantastic, and her live album makes my soul smile. I missed her play with OneRepublic at the House of Blues and get legitimately sad whenever I think about it. Like, right now...

Anyways, despite this very elaborate love for her as an artist and a human being, I had yet to give her new album a close listen. Not because I didn't want to, because I did. Not because I didn't like 'King of Anything', cause I think it's brilliant. And not because I don't know what kaleidoscope means, cause, I mean, obviously it's –noun 1. an optical instrument in which bits of glass, held loosely at the end of a rotating tube, are shown in continually changing symmetrical forms by reflection in two or more mirrors set at angles to each other... duh.

... right?

Point is, I listened to it while I was driving around today, twice, and the quote at the start of this post is in the second song on the album; 'Uncharted'. And it slapped me in the face. Which I'm ok with - Sara can slap me in the face whenever she wants to. But, these are really the words I should be living by right now...

I'm currently in an interesting phase of my young life. Taking a semester off of school, can't find a job, looking for ways to feel productive (i.e. this blog...), just got my haircut... Ok that doesn't really fit, but still, it happened. To be honest it's been difficult feeling like the only mark I'm leaving in the world is the indent on my Tempur-Pedic mattress when I get out of bed at 2pm to get some Golden Grahams. And the indent is still there five minutes later when I return with my bowl. And my spoon. Let's just say if you asked me in December what I would be doing with my life, this isn't exactly what I had in mind. 

But the fact of the matter is, comparing where I am now to where I wish I was isn't going to get me anywhere (see how I made that sound like I came up with it all by myself?). It's a habit I fall into a lot, and I think a lot of people fall into. Not only with what I want to be doing, but what kind of person I want to be - maybe even more so... I think about becoming a disciplined person, and I think, holy crap, I have to change my whole life. Having routines - eating, working out, sleeping. Becoming a better writer - blogging, writing articles, writing stories. And I think, I can't do that. Not all at once. And if I wanted to start doing that, where do I start? But where isn't the point. Starting is the point. Being patient, persistent, diligent. Being disciplined one day at a time, one decision at a time, as tacky as that sounds... And when I think about this phase I'm in now, it's not about getting up tomorrow, finding a job, being awesome at it, and start raking in dough. But it's also not sitting in my room watching episodes of 'Lost' I've already seen three times. But wishing I could get up tomorrow, find a job, be awesome at it, and rake in some dough is exactly what lands me in my room watching episodes of 'Lost' I've already seen three times. It's about starting. It's getting up, walking into restaurants and bars with a resume in my hand and a smile on my face, and asking for a job. That's it. That's where it needs to start. Regardless of how annoying the process becomes. Three words - patience, persistence, diligence.

So in the same way that waking up one morning and just expecting to be a disciplined person won't get me any closer to being a disciplined person, the same goes for my job hunt. Or, productivity hunt, if you will. And that is why I love Sara Bareilles. Because her voice, and her words, just, open my eyes to things about life and myself, and make me want to be a better person. 

Acknowledge sarcasm..... and we're back.

All jokes and sarcasm aside, her music is fantastic. Singing about things people can relate to, with emotion, and doing it well. If you ask me, that's what music is all about. At least, the good kind, that isn't created for radio and clubs... And unfortunately, artists like her are getting scarce. As far as I'm concerned, there are few things better than listening to a girl with some emotion who can sing. No homo (for lack of a more politically correct phrase...). 

So this one goes out to my girl Sara B. Thank you for having an amazing voice, and thank you for finally writing a love song. When the time was right, of course.

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